Liam
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A mackem in a geordie pub...A mackem walks into a pubt in newcastle and asks the nearest geordie, "do you want to hear a joke about alan shearer?"
The Geordie replies, "you best think carefully about this. I'm 6'2 and can handle myself. Pointing to a huge guy to his left, he says "that guy is 6'4 and is a boxer. Pointing to another guy to his left he says " that guy is 6'7 and is a member of the NUFC firm. So are you really sure you want to tell this joke?"
The mackem replies, " no i suppose i don't. I don't want to explain it three times."
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A Sunderland fan and a Newcastle fan were sentenced to death by firing squad.
The officer in charge asked the Newcastle fan if he had a last request.
'Yes' replied the Newcastle Fan, 'I'm a keen Newcastle Supporter, and I videoed the last game Newcastle played. Could I watch the video before I die?'
'No Problem', replied the officer, 'I'll get the men to rig up a large screen, and you can watch it from here'.
Then turning to the Sunderland Fan, he asked 'And what about you, do you have a last request?'
'Yes', he replied, 'Shoot me first'.
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Fire brigade phones Big Sma in the early hours of Sunday morning...
"Mr Alladyrce sir, St James Park is on fire!"
"The cups! Save the cups!" replies Sam.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
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